WWJD? I'm betting: Join the orgy.

No, not a Christmas post. Maybe later.

This one's about International Orgasm Day (which, until now, I didn't know existed). I know what you're thinking: How does one celebrate such a titillating holiday? Well, with a 250-person-strong mass orgasm in Israel, of course. For world peace. Of course. Organized by Raelians -- you know, the people who believe in aliens and free love, but paradoxically abstain from recreational drugs and alcohol. Of course.

The event was canceled. Of course.

Justice on the cheap.

To save money (not that much money, really, in the scheme of things), the Chief Justice of the New Hampshire Supreme Court plans to suspend all jury trials--civil and criminal--for one month early next year.

Robert J. Lynn, chief justice of the superior courts, which conduct all New Hampshire jury trials, said he fears the delays inevitably will cause damage. "There is some element of 'justice delayed, justice denied,' no doubt about it," he said.

Christopher Keating, executive director of the New Hampshire Public Defender program, said his chief concern now is "people in custody who will endure delays in getting their day in court."

The state Supreme Court threw out two criminal cases this year because trials did not begin within six months of arraignment, the legal limit. Prosecutors fear more cases may be dismissed...

The delays may encourage some defendants to seek plea deals, or litigants to settle out of court...

"You're talking about erosion of our fundamental civic fabric," said Ellen J. Shemitz, executive director of the New Hampshire Assn. for Justice, which represents civil trial attorneys.

James J. Tenn Jr., incoming president of the state's bar association, said that as the crisis has grown, New Hampshire courts have been slow to process orders, respond to lawyers' requests and "do the daily work."

"We've just seen delay after delay after delay," said David Slawsky, a civil lawyer in Manchester. "The court process is breaking down."

Chief Justice Broderick also intends to purposely leave vacant over 10% of the state's trial court judgeships, as well as possibly 1 of the state's 5 Supreme Court slots (notably, the NHSC is the small state's sole appellate court).

Aren't the "tween" years awkward enough?

Now, in Saudi Arabia, tween-age girls can be married off to old men by their fathers, but can't file for divorce until they reach the age of majority.

A Saudi court has rejected a plea to divorce an eight-year-old girl married off by her father to a man who is 58, saying the case should wait until the girl reaches puberty.

The divorce plea was filed in August by the girl's divorced mother with a court at Unayzah, 135 miles north of Riyadh just after the marriage contract was signed by the father and the groom.

Lawyer Abdullar Jtili said:"The judge has dismissed the plea, filed by the mother, because she does not have the right to file such a case, and ordered that the plea should be filed by the girl herself when she reaches puberty."

I suppose it's somehow internally logical that the girl is young enough that she has to follow her father's wishes to get married, and so is not old enough to file for divorce -- and even, though of course sexist, that her father can sign her marriage contract, but her mother cannot file her divorce.

But taking a step out of the rabbithole, and setting aside the "creepy 50-years-her-senior groom" thing: Doesn't it seem like if she's too young to sign the marriage contract, she's too young to get married?

"Shake and Shoot" Coca-Cola douches, and Other weird science.

There are several strange items in this article about funny little scientific studies -- actually makes me want to read an issue of the British Medical Journal.

Highlights:

• "Studies showed that children who consume large amounts of sugar are no more hyperactive than those who don't. But parents who think their kids have eaten sugar, even when they haven't, tend to rate them as being hyperactive.
  
  The ill-mannered behavior, the authors wrote, was 'all in the parents' minds.'"

• "Coca-Cola douches for pregnancy prevention were a part of folklore in the 1950s and 1960s, before the contraceptive pill. People thought that the acidity of the soda would kill sperm and that the classic Coke bottle provided a convenient 'shake and shoot' applicator.
  
  Dr. Deborah Anderson of Boston University School of Medicine had previously reported that Coke can impede the mobility of sperm in a test tube. But further study, she said, shows that sperm get to the cervical canal so quickly that postcoital spritzing is ineffective.
  
  For it to work, she wrote, the soda would have to be put in the vagina before sex, 'but that would undoubtedly be messy.'"

• "Drs. Christopher J. Boos and Howard Marshall, cardiologists at University Hospital Birmingham, treated a 25-year-old woman who suffered repeated fainting episodes, particularly when eating a sandwich or drinking a fizzy drink.
  
  A full medical work-up showed her to be healthy overall, but the team ultimately diagnosed a condition called swallow syncope, which caused her heart to stop beating for as long as three seconds after some types of swallowing -- especially sandwiches, for no clear reason.
  
  The woman was fitted with a pacemaker and has had no fainting episodes since, Boos and Marshall reported in the Lancet. They suspect that many other patients suffer the problem without being diagnosed."

Ok. So sandwich-fainting is weird. But these doctors think there are many other people who faint when they swallow, and don't notice? Really?

Once a juvenile, always a sex offender?

I don't know anything about the details of this particular case, but it seems to me generally good news that a high court somewhere recognizes that an 11-year-old who commits a crime might not be destined to a life of such crimes.

Money quote:

"Hugh Southey, appearing for ['Teenager F'], pointed out that -- because there was no review process -- [F] could still be on the register 'aged 70 or 80,' even if he committed no further offence.
The impact of the notification regulations on young children, who were in the process of change and development, could be 'significant and dispiriting.'

He said: 'Children have to have the chance to mature and change.

'It is important that the state does what it can to encourage the development of children who have committed serious offences in a positive way, rather than a negative way.'"

We can argue about adults another time.

[UPDATED] Bristol Meth.

UPDATE: Apparently the drug was Oxycontin.

Bristol Palin's soon-to-be mother-in-law might not be able to attend the wedding -- 'cause she'll be in jail. Only relatively sketchy info at this point, but it's 6 felony drug counts -- and not just possession.

These people didn't ask to be thrown into the public eye. But still, there they are.


[NOTE: Bristol is not implicated in these charges. Nor have there been any reports (that I've seen) as to what drug was involved, meth or otherwise. But once I came up with it, I was too enchanted by the post title not to use it.]

Bailout University.

Yale joins Harvard.

Finals week wrap-up: animals and religion (and politics and porn).

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Math teacher tests advertising.

A math teacher in a California school district has taken to placing ads on his tests in order to raise money for newly-introduced photocopying fees. This is simultaneously hilarious and troubling.

Not troubling because ads on tests are inherently wrong somehow (though some might argue they are). At least not so simply.

No, it's troubling because teachers in poorer districts have long faced the prospect of shelling out their own cash for photocopies and school supplies. Would a teacher in such a school be able to raise $1000 by asking parents to pay to put inspirational quotes on their kids' exams? Not likely.

Now, I'm not blaming the teacher. He found a creative solution to a difficult problem. But his solution, as he recognizes, simply emphasizes the dismal state of public education funding in this country. And moreover, as might be less apparent, it is a jerry-rigged extension of our public schools' property tax-driven, sociological crisis.

Poor Harvard.

In 4 months, Harvard has lost more money (at least $8 billion) from its endowment than most other universities had to begin with. (Only Yale, Princeton, Stanford, and MIT have endowments over $8 billion.)

Context from about 15 months ago, for those interested: a one-year gain of about $5.5 billion.



(Image: A Harvard University money clip, plated in gold...on sale.)