Peeling potatoes for god's sake.

[Aside: I haven't posted in a couple weeks in part because I wanted to let my last post sit for a while. I wanted it to be my statement to the world for a bit of time. But also, I wasn't sure how to follow it. Not because it was so great or anything, but because of its subject. It seemed too serious to follow with another silly extended observation about Tivo. So, a compromise. I'll jump back into it. But I'll write about something important. Here goes.]

I cut my thumb today. I was peeling potatoes and I went to wipe an errant bit of potato skin from the paring knife. And instead I sliced through the skin of my thumb. The tip. Right on the pad. A vertical cut, as though my thumb were my wrist and I was trying to kill myself.

So. It hurts a little. And it's difficult to get a bandaid to stay on the tip of your thumb. But that's not why this cut is so important.

Its significance lies in the reminder of how important thumbs really are. The opposable kind. Not just the silly fifth-of-five-index-fingers kind, like the hands on the "people" I used to draw in kindergarten. When moving your thumb and pressing it against anything offers you a sharp pain, when you're trying not to get the bandaid on your thumb wet, when you begin to avoid using your thumb on your dominant hand -- you really start to realize how useful the opposable thumb is. Someday, if you think of it, count how many times a day you do something you simply couldn't do (or, at least, not in the way you normally do it) without the ability to grip something tightly in one hand. You'll lose count. I promise. Some of you more quickly than others.

And if and when you do that little experiment (even if it's just a thought experiment), some of you will begin to think the following innocuous little thought: The opposable thumb is an amazing creation.

And then you'll come to a starkly defined fork in the road of logic. The first path is studded with randomly sprouting flora and punctuated by streams snaking back and forth asymmetrically. The second path is guarded by free-floating fiery swords, lit by burning bushes, and passes unceasing through split seas.

Science and religion, folks. Evolution and creationism. Natural selection and intelligent design. More similar than some of you may think (a nod to Blake, and a paper she seemed to always be writing for four years). But, ultimately, different.

Now. I'm not going to run through all the tired arguments. Ok. I am. But quickly.

Yes, the opposable thumb is awesome. That's why it's still around. And that's why it's around on the hands of the dominant species on the planet. The wondrous utility of the opposable thumb is a testament to millenia devoted to weeding out those without them. And the fossil record, along with the so-called living fossil record, offers plenty of evidence in that regard.

Or maybe god sat down (that's a funny image to me), took out a pencil, sharpened it (another funny image), and drew up a schematic for the human hand. And it had five index fingers. He set it down on a cloud and floated around it in a circle (again, funny), considering it from all angles. And he was about ready to go ahead and say, "Let there be hands with five index fingers!" when he had a second thought: How about an opposable thumb? He weighed the various pros against the obvious con of increased masturbation, and decided to go ahead with it. And thus came about the opposable thumb.

Well. Maybe. But there's no fossil record of that (no doubt because god, in his infinite wisdom, threw that original schematic into a burning bush). And like I said above -- it's a series of funny images to me.

But. Here's the main point.

Those of you who see the opposable thumb and exclaim, "Perfection! See! How could that be random!" You're the same sort of people who long ago saw a burning bush and exclaimed, "God is here!" rather than, "Lightning was here!"

And that's great. Whatever. I don't care. You're free to find god in whatever you like. The Bible, the Koran, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (another nod to Blake). I don't care.

But at least have the decency to acknowledge that it's belief.

And it's your belief. Not mine. So don't force it on my kids.

Keep your god in your special schools on Saturdays and Sundays.

During the school week--as I'm constantly telling my students--you need evidence for your arguments.