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Sarah Palin's excellent adventure on speed.

The lawyer who vetted Sarah Palin spoke out at the National Press Club today. I think most of what he said is bullshit. But a couple of revelations are interesting. First, apparently campaign spokespeople seemed caught off-guard when asked about Bristol's pregnancy because they really were caught off-guard.

But far more intriguing (and scary) are the three questions that the McCain campaign thought ultimately determine a person's capacity to serve as Vice President:

* Why do you want to be vice president?
* Are you prepared to use Nuclear [sic] weapons in the defense of the homeland?
* Osama bin Laden is identified in the FATA, the CIA is ready to take a shot, but if they take a shot there will be multiple civilian causalities, will you take the shot?

Homeland? For real?

And, I don't know about anyone else, but when I read that third question I hear it in Dennis Hopper's voice (who of course adds a "hotshot" at the end). And I keep expecting Keanu Reeves to say "Shoot the hostage."

Excellent.

Today's Awesome Quote of the Day (and no, these aren't the only things I'm posting from now on)

Jason Linkins at Huff Post:

During an appearance on Your World with Neil Cavuto yesterday, [RNC Chair] Michael Steele told the host that he was "open to" punishing Senators Susan Collins, Olympia Snowe, and Arlen Specter for their votes on the stimulus package, by withholding RNC monies for their re-election bids. He then said he was "open to everything, baby," because that's his bold schtick: inserting the word "baby" into everything.

Awesome Quote of the Day

Democratic Governor Brian Schweitzer of Montana (on Gov. Sarah Palin dropping out of an energy policy talk she was supposed to co-lead):

"I don't know where she's going to be. You'll be stuck with me. There will be no glamour, certainly no snappy dressing. I brought my best two pairs of jeans. There's a little bit of a horse shit stain by the knee. But I've been washing that stuff out."

Stuff you should think about for a few minutes. But not a whole lot longer than that.

I saw a version of this a couple years ago, I think. But it's still cool. And updated.



(Hat tip: Michael Scherer at Swampland)

Closing Guantanamo.

This article by Dahlia Lithwick at Slate does important work in cutting through the bullshit enveloping the Guantanamo debate, and re-focusing the public on the facts.

Her main point:

"[W]hether we are looking to answer questions about where to repatriate the last Guantanamo detainees, where to hold them until we try them, or how to try them, let's attempt to get past the undifferentiated orange jumpsuits, which tell us what they have always told us: virtually nothing at all."

The money quote for me, though, is:

We also know that among the remaining prisoners at Guantanamo there are several who clearly come under the definition of child soldiers, including Canadian Omar Khadr, who allegedly threw a grenade at an American soldier and was first taken to Guantanamo when he was 15. Khadr, we learned this week, allegedly identified, under abusive interrogation, another Canadian, Maher Arar, as a visitor to an al-Qaida safe house in Afghanistan. The problem here is that there is no dispute that Arar was in Canada at the time. Mohammed Jawad is another prisoner at Gitmo, and like Khadr he was also a child soldier (between 15 and 17; his birth date is unknown) when he threw a grenade and injured U.S. soldiers. As Glenn Greenwald chronicles here, Jawad allegedly suffered such brutal abuse and torture, his chief prosecutor resigned and is now a witness for Jawad in his habeas corpus proceeding. As Greenwald writes, the centerpiece of the government case against Jawad is a confession he " 'signed' (with his fingerprint, since he can't write his name) … and yet, it was written in a language Jawad did not speak or read and was given to him after several days of beatings, druggings, and threats—all while he was likely 15 or 16 years old."

Amen.

I'll admit it: Alone in my room, watching on tv, I found myself mouthing the word when he called for it.

The Reverend Lowery may not have stolen the show (don't think that was possible), but he sure brought it home. I'm not with his lord, but I'm sure with his message. Let's have at it, people. Yes we can.



(See here for a transcript. But please ignore the comments at the bottom of the page.)

On this new morning, new morning...

I can't wait to go to sleep...so I can wake up tomorrow morning.

It feels like Christmas Eve.

If I were 5.

And.

You know.

Cared about Christmas a lot.




And for your musical enjoyment, some under-rated Dylan:

[MUSIC] Honky Tonk blues.

My current music obsession:



(And yeah, if you think you recognize it, the song played at the end of an episode of House.)

[UPDATED] The Children of Hamas.

Oh God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son"
Abe says, "Man, you must be puttin' me on"
God say, "No." Abe say, "What?"
God say, "You can do what you want Abe, but
The next time you see me comin' you better run"
Well Abe says, "Where do you want this killin' done?"
God says, "Out on Highway 61."

This was the lead in a story I came across this morning:

Israel dropped a one-ton bomb on the home of a Hamas strongman Thursday, killing him along with two [actually, 4] wives and four [actually 9] children in the first attack on the top leadership of Gaza's rulers.

Really hard to read. Euphemisms are a wonderful thing, and "collateral damage" is a great one, but the wrenching specificity of assassinating a leader in such a way that you take 9 of his children with him is terrible to contemplate. And I am so certain it must be condemned.

And then I read further in the same article, and I learned:

[The assassinated Hamas leader] was closely tied to Hamas' military wing and was respected in Gaza for donning combat fatigues and personally participating in clashes against Israeli forces. He sent one of his sons on an October 2001 suicide mission that killed two Israeli settlers in Gaza.

And in a world where that is possible, the need for euphemisms (not just "collateral damage," but "suicide mission," "settlers," and especially "sent") starts to overwhelm. Starts to seem like the rules I live by (consciously recognized or not) are...well...quaint.

Starts to. But then: I just cannot believe that son would have killed himself to murder others without the encouragement of his father (understood broadly). I don't like writing children off as delinquents, much less as terrorists. And so I'm left struggling to find the rationalization for their innocent deaths.

In various philosophy courses, I've always been troubled by the doctrine of double effect -- that is, essentially, judging an act not based on the results of the act but based on the intent (on "the risk posed," as Alan Dershowitz argues in today's WSJ). My tendencies toward consequentialist ethics rearing up, I suppose. I closed a poem once: "the doctrine of double effect is/ no venial sin, it is/ an abattoir of lifetimes." I still believe that -- despite my sympathies for its various expediencies. The lack of particular intent to murder the 9 children (in exchange for 1 Hamas leader) just isn't enough.

I am generous with abstract sympathy -- I feel it, at various times, for all sides in this interminable conflict. I suppose, in the end, all I'm saying is that I find the strategic choice Israel made in this instance to be deeply awful and readily condemnable -- as is, I understand, the fact that it was faced with such a choice. But, here, I think, the decision was worse than the choice (if language holds up that far).

Fittingly, I'm not sure how to end this post. So bookends will have to suffice:

Now the rovin' gambler he was very bored
He was tryin' to create a next world war
He found a promoter who nearly fell off the floor
He said I never engaged in this kind of thing before
But yes I think it can be very easily done
We'll just put some bleachers out in the sun
And have it on Highway 61.

[UPDATE: Apparently, the final death toll was 4 wives and 9 of 12 children. I've changed the numbers throughout.]

[NOTE: Various other updates/changes were made throughout since the original posting, and are not marked.]

WWJD? I'm betting: Join the orgy.

No, not a Christmas post. Maybe later.

This one's about International Orgasm Day (which, until now, I didn't know existed). I know what you're thinking: How does one celebrate such a titillating holiday? Well, with a 250-person-strong mass orgasm in Israel, of course. For world peace. Of course. Organized by Raelians -- you know, the people who believe in aliens and free love, but paradoxically abstain from recreational drugs and alcohol. Of course.

The event was canceled. Of course.

Justice on the cheap.

To save money (not that much money, really, in the scheme of things), the Chief Justice of the New Hampshire Supreme Court plans to suspend all jury trials--civil and criminal--for one month early next year.

Robert J. Lynn, chief justice of the superior courts, which conduct all New Hampshire jury trials, said he fears the delays inevitably will cause damage. "There is some element of 'justice delayed, justice denied,' no doubt about it," he said.

Christopher Keating, executive director of the New Hampshire Public Defender program, said his chief concern now is "people in custody who will endure delays in getting their day in court."

The state Supreme Court threw out two criminal cases this year because trials did not begin within six months of arraignment, the legal limit. Prosecutors fear more cases may be dismissed...

The delays may encourage some defendants to seek plea deals, or litigants to settle out of court...

"You're talking about erosion of our fundamental civic fabric," said Ellen J. Shemitz, executive director of the New Hampshire Assn. for Justice, which represents civil trial attorneys.

James J. Tenn Jr., incoming president of the state's bar association, said that as the crisis has grown, New Hampshire courts have been slow to process orders, respond to lawyers' requests and "do the daily work."

"We've just seen delay after delay after delay," said David Slawsky, a civil lawyer in Manchester. "The court process is breaking down."

Chief Justice Broderick also intends to purposely leave vacant over 10% of the state's trial court judgeships, as well as possibly 1 of the state's 5 Supreme Court slots (notably, the NHSC is the small state's sole appellate court).

Aren't the "tween" years awkward enough?

Now, in Saudi Arabia, tween-age girls can be married off to old men by their fathers, but can't file for divorce until they reach the age of majority.

A Saudi court has rejected a plea to divorce an eight-year-old girl married off by her father to a man who is 58, saying the case should wait until the girl reaches puberty.

The divorce plea was filed in August by the girl's divorced mother with a court at Unayzah, 135 miles north of Riyadh just after the marriage contract was signed by the father and the groom.

Lawyer Abdullar Jtili said:"The judge has dismissed the plea, filed by the mother, because she does not have the right to file such a case, and ordered that the plea should be filed by the girl herself when she reaches puberty."

I suppose it's somehow internally logical that the girl is young enough that she has to follow her father's wishes to get married, and so is not old enough to file for divorce -- and even, though of course sexist, that her father can sign her marriage contract, but her mother cannot file her divorce.

But taking a step out of the rabbithole, and setting aside the "creepy 50-years-her-senior groom" thing: Doesn't it seem like if she's too young to sign the marriage contract, she's too young to get married?

"Shake and Shoot" Coca-Cola douches, and Other weird science.

There are several strange items in this article about funny little scientific studies -- actually makes me want to read an issue of the British Medical Journal.

Highlights:

• "Studies showed that children who consume large amounts of sugar are no more hyperactive than those who don't. But parents who think their kids have eaten sugar, even when they haven't, tend to rate them as being hyperactive.
  
  The ill-mannered behavior, the authors wrote, was 'all in the parents' minds.'"

• "Coca-Cola douches for pregnancy prevention were a part of folklore in the 1950s and 1960s, before the contraceptive pill. People thought that the acidity of the soda would kill sperm and that the classic Coke bottle provided a convenient 'shake and shoot' applicator.
  
  Dr. Deborah Anderson of Boston University School of Medicine had previously reported that Coke can impede the mobility of sperm in a test tube. But further study, she said, shows that sperm get to the cervical canal so quickly that postcoital spritzing is ineffective.
  
  For it to work, she wrote, the soda would have to be put in the vagina before sex, 'but that would undoubtedly be messy.'"

• "Drs. Christopher J. Boos and Howard Marshall, cardiologists at University Hospital Birmingham, treated a 25-year-old woman who suffered repeated fainting episodes, particularly when eating a sandwich or drinking a fizzy drink.
  
  A full medical work-up showed her to be healthy overall, but the team ultimately diagnosed a condition called swallow syncope, which caused her heart to stop beating for as long as three seconds after some types of swallowing -- especially sandwiches, for no clear reason.
  
  The woman was fitted with a pacemaker and has had no fainting episodes since, Boos and Marshall reported in the Lancet. They suspect that many other patients suffer the problem without being diagnosed."

Ok. So sandwich-fainting is weird. But these doctors think there are many other people who faint when they swallow, and don't notice? Really?

Once a juvenile, always a sex offender?

I don't know anything about the details of this particular case, but it seems to me generally good news that a high court somewhere recognizes that an 11-year-old who commits a crime might not be destined to a life of such crimes.

Money quote:

"Hugh Southey, appearing for ['Teenager F'], pointed out that -- because there was no review process -- [F] could still be on the register 'aged 70 or 80,' even if he committed no further offence.
The impact of the notification regulations on young children, who were in the process of change and development, could be 'significant and dispiriting.'

He said: 'Children have to have the chance to mature and change.

'It is important that the state does what it can to encourage the development of children who have committed serious offences in a positive way, rather than a negative way.'"

We can argue about adults another time.

[UPDATED] Bristol Meth.

UPDATE: Apparently the drug was Oxycontin.

Bristol Palin's soon-to-be mother-in-law might not be able to attend the wedding -- 'cause she'll be in jail. Only relatively sketchy info at this point, but it's 6 felony drug counts -- and not just possession.

These people didn't ask to be thrown into the public eye. But still, there they are.


[NOTE: Bristol is not implicated in these charges. Nor have there been any reports (that I've seen) as to what drug was involved, meth or otherwise. But once I came up with it, I was too enchanted by the post title not to use it.]

Bailout University.

Yale joins Harvard.

Finals week wrap-up: animals and religion (and politics and porn).

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Math teacher tests advertising.

A math teacher in a California school district has taken to placing ads on his tests in order to raise money for newly-introduced photocopying fees. This is simultaneously hilarious and troubling.

Not troubling because ads on tests are inherently wrong somehow (though some might argue they are). At least not so simply.

No, it's troubling because teachers in poorer districts have long faced the prospect of shelling out their own cash for photocopies and school supplies. Would a teacher in such a school be able to raise $1000 by asking parents to pay to put inspirational quotes on their kids' exams? Not likely.

Now, I'm not blaming the teacher. He found a creative solution to a difficult problem. But his solution, as he recognizes, simply emphasizes the dismal state of public education funding in this country. And moreover, as might be less apparent, it is a jerry-rigged extension of our public schools' property tax-driven, sociological crisis.